I have been observing people for years, trying to learn from their mistakes. I guess it did not do me much good for in my naive idealistic mind I hoped that talking, explaining, asking, showing an example of self would help.
No such luck.
It seems right now that I’m stuck in a limbo both professionally and personally. And honestly I feel burned out.
I do not want this anymore, I do not want to be the one to constantly fight, I do not wish to be the supporting pillar of it all. I don’t even give a heck anymore if they appreciate me (not sure if they do… but it does not matter anymore). I will be working from now on, on changing myself. When I do that, I did it several times already, one important thing will happen.. my perspective will change for I will reach a different point. Once I do that.. kind of hard to say at this point… I will either stay put in a sense of my surroundings and people or move on. Should I move on… it will only be their choice if they wish to catch up or choose to go their own paths. There is a point where changing yourself is the only rational solution. A change has to come from within.
Bottom of the line of this little story is that I trust, from now on, only actions of the people… not their words. I have been doing all my life my best to keep my word, yet it seems I’m a relic of some long forgotten era. I also solemnly swear never again try to even in the slightest measure others with the same measure as applied to myself. My standards maybe higher or lower, depends on perspective, and I might be expecting from myself too much… but that is from myself. No more expectations of any sort for anyone and NO MORE WHINING.