I guess I have always been, contrary to all my pragmatism, romantic. I believed in love and that it can conquere all. I still believe, I still love… Just there is a time, at least I arrived at such point, where I do not care anymore if I love someone and am ready to die for them….I will leave them just as well, should it be not our common path anymore.
What I am trying to say here is that, my heart can bleed, it can hurt as hell, yet I will turn my back and walk away.
This applies to some very dear people to me, but I am tired, I simply can’t watch anymore how they go destroying themselves… One sitting day-by-day playing games and finding excuses not to find a job to even earn for his own little needs… Another staying in a relationship where he simply is a doormat, dire specter, held emotionally hostage yet wondering if not to marry his tormentor…. I am through with that… With both cases. If the can’t or won’t fight for themselves despite of being given any possible hint, blunt statements and warnings… I’m sorry but I will be off. Even if I am to end up being alone in the end. I refuse to be manipulated, reject being stuck in ‘hot’n’cold’ mess over insecurities or selfpunishment of others.
I am not sure if this is maturity, cold- blood or simple and plain survival instinct, but have and will continue to serve ties no matter how hard it is to do…. Once you have been through a period where you kept living with ‘no oxygen in your air’ , a period that lasted several years…. Most other stuff, or second goes at it are easier… You get acostumed to it and know how to cope. Humans can even get acostumed to arsenic, so why not ‘lack of oxygen in their air’?
Anyways who cares, right? Just move on