Back in my youth I been very active physically. From swimming, to fencing, from dancing to volleyball and tennis. I did many different things, all cause I’ve been diagnosed at age of 10 with ‘prolapsing disk’ (not sure if that is the right term for it) in my lower back. Essentially, my back needs a huge corset made of muscles to have a fighting chance, even more so with my breast size – 34 HH. Ohh, do believe me, I would like to get it downsized, but here the insurance does not cover that kind of surgery and I can’t afford to pay for it on my own, at least not yet. Maybe in couple of years. For now stuck with it and have to make best out of it.
I also have a lazy valve aka… higher risk of problems with the heart and circulation.
I have remained active physically for years, but then my son was born. He is a kid that does and did need a bit more attention than a standard child. This has rendered me will-less towards taking care of myself for a long time… something like 12 years. Do not get me wrong, I did attempt not once not twice to get that fatty (and getting fatter over time) ass of mine to move. Yet, I lacked the fixation and will to keep up on the course. The longest I stayed on track of regular exercise so far was a week. After that I would either stop due to being sick, or one of my boys being sick… or whatever… any excuse seems to have worked. My mind excelled at providing them.
Almost three weeks back something happened that rocked my world. Something I have not though possible even in my wildest dreams. Yet, it did. First, I had to deal with 20 years of moral hangover… thinking… mind spinning….
Then I stumbled across an open-air gym nearby, that has recently been put up, yet I did not realize it was there. To help me think, to work off some steam that was accumulating while I was analyzing all aspects of the issue I faced and before I could share it with anyone, I started to work out. It is not much 30-45 mins a day at 4.30/5.00 am when there is none there to compete over the machines. It’s been two weeks now (with 2 days of a break in-between) and I still feel the urge to go there and do that… the thinking is almost done… but as result of it I have gained plenty of motivation to keep on going and to start taking better care of myself.
Regardless of how remotely possible some events in future are, regardless of my own slaking around for years…. I can’t give up now. This is fight for myself and I can’t lose. Taking it around, if I want the future remotely possible events to even have that ‘remote’ chance… I need to get myself in shape.
Today, had a first sign from my body (not just my mind and soul) that I’m on the right track. I jumped the scale and my weight moved, for the first time in 2 years, not much but still down by 3 kg. Kilograms do not matter to me so much as the state of my spine and heart, but they do hold influence over those two. I can’t give up.. that’s not an option anymore.
I doubt I will become a fanatic spreading word of wisdom on exercising and gyms, but I certainly wish to share my positive motivation with all.
So everyone.. move it… 🙂