For years I have helped Michael Sliwiński (http://michaelsliwinski.com/) with Productive!Magazine (http://productivemag.com/). He has recently published his second book (http://nozbe.com/blog/passionbook/), dealing exactly with the topic of Passion. Thus I though to write something of my own.
A road to inspiration differs.
For me no running, no reading of books by others, no external impulse helps. What does? Simple and firm decision taken at a moment of relaxation. This time the big turning point was a decision to buy my first car followed by… actually purchasing it. It is nothing big or fancy or new…. but it is mine. I went through with it and in return it has pulled me back into studying… the car is so old I can fix it on my own with just a few books and tools at hand.
Going from that point I reached conclusion that I’m sick and tired of being ‘wed to kitchen’ and my son. He is 12 now… needs to stop being ‘nursed’ by mom every step he takes. Yet, I admit to having been on the drug called “motherly pursuits”. I simply need/needed to let go (tense depends on perspective). So, I went for a spring/summer legalese english course at the Warsaw University and decided to take certification exam for legal translators. This is very much work in progress. I also started to work as an intern for a professional translator.
Once I did move forward, once I went for my 1st class, I recalled how much pleasure it was to study… always been a bookworm. Suddenly, realized that being mom, though pleasure in itself, has taken me away from studies, took me away from many of the things I loved doing and was passionate about. I admit that I have not been the best mom in the world, but I did and will continue to help my son and will do for him whatever I can….yet… I’m not too old and apart from being mom I should also be myself. I have avoided some of the key aspects of “me” and hiding behind “mom”. It is, I think, time for a change and pretty much last call for me. So, I have decided to go back to university and pursue Masters in Law.
It is not that I do not have a degree… I do… double B.A. and one M.A….. but Law has, ever since I remember, been hunting me. You could say that I kept getting those hints on if from people around and from the life itself. I have resisted it for longest, cause my parents were trying to force me to it… and they have overdone the forcing on so many levels…
One has to reach every decision and live with it on his/her own.
and one last reason, not sure if that is not THE ONLY REASON…. ’cause I CAN
SO STOP FOOLING AROUND, GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER, AND do Whatever you wanted to.